Speaking of Relationships...

So, yesterday was Valentine's day huh? I tried to pretend that it wasn't. Not because I'm bitter about being single or anything like that, but I just didn't particularly want the whole loved-up world reminding me of just how hard my resolve to kiss dating goodbye was. Having said that, I did get the sweetest Valentine's email from my dad which made the whole day simply amazing (can you tell I'm such a daddy's girl?)

I am aware that a lot of you probably still have your eyebrows raised at the 'kiss dating goodbye' statement. It's the title of a book I'm currently reading, as well as a principle I'm trying to imbibe. Joshua Harris talks about saving yourself (physically and emotionally) for your future spouse, and not giving away too much in a string of (essentially) meaningless relationships. The author makes a case for enjoying your single days, as opposed to despising them, and how important it is for you to grow as an individual before then trying to merge/combine your life with someone else's. You are probably more likely to run into trouble if you have two 'incomplete' people trying to use the other to complete themselves, than if you had two 'whole' people who simply strengthened each other. It makes the relationship more equal, and less needy and crippling. It also makes for much better relationship mathematics.

Now, while it may not be easy I am also sure that it will definitely be very rewarding if I can stay strong in my resolve. 

I came across some quotes on love and marriage while doing research for a recent article I wrote for Amplify The Word;

One was by Jon Bon Jovi, and he said that as for his secret to staying married: "My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me." 

A second one I read was by Robert Brault which I must share with two friends of mine with 'man troubles';

Sometimes two people need to step apart
and make a space between
that each might see the other anew,
in a glance across a room
or silhouetted against the moon.

From a post titled "For better or worse, or Parkinson's disease"
by Bob Kuhn

Some food for thought eh?

As we celebrate love, either that which is firmly in our grasps, or love hoped for, we must remember that love is a two-way street - we must give as much as we hope to receive - and that there is One who is Love, by His very nature, who has, and always will, love us.

You can also read my article for ATW on the website; especially for some of that relationship mathematics I was talking about...

What happened to our Honeymoon?

I had a fight with the boy today... it was kind of brewing from the night before and I called to kiss and make up so to speak but all I got was round two. To be honest I wonder if I can really call him the boy as we've only been talking for a few weeks and technically he hasn't asked me out yet.

By the by: do people still ask each other out anymore? I've been out of the dating scene for so long but I know back in high school (my last proper relationship, sad? I know) the boy had to officially ask the girl out. Is that still the case or do we just assume that if I like you and you like me that we're dating? On the other hand am I to be all women-have-balls-too and ask him out myself? Plus if he tells you he loves you before you're officially dating is that backwards or no?

He'd gone back home for the Christmas holiday and it was my turn to call him yesterday evening. When I did call he wasn't available and later on when he was free to talk I was busy. For some reason this was a problem; what could I possibly be doing that I was too busy to talk, and round one begun. I really didn't want to fight and tried to remain as calm as possible but apparently being calm = patronizing.

Blah blah blah, to cut the long story short it got me thinking about the so-called honeymoon period in relationships. You know those first few weeks, months (years if you're lucky) when everything is perfect and you never have any arguments? Whatever the time frame is I'm pretty sure 4 weeks is a bit on the short side (especially considering the fact that I'm not even sure if we're technically in a relationship). And not to go all Carrie B on y'all but I found myself wondering: is this a sign to cut my losses and run whilst I can, or is it a realistic occurrence in any normal relationship in which case I should see how we can settle our creative differences?

This is probably why I stayed single for so long. Men = muchos stress